Scattered bits of my awesome brain

Archive for the ‘Blabs’ Category

“It’s the little things she needs someone for, like someone to hold her hand at the end of a long day, or someone to watch stupid comedies with, or someone to curl up with on the couch on a lazy Sunday morning as she reads the newspaper and eats her cereal. Which probably means she doesn’t ‘need’ someone in the strictest sense, although at the end of a long day, or while watching a stupid comedy, or on a lazy Sunday morning, having someone would be very much appreciated.”

 

– grabbed from a friend’s facebook status. Hello someone where are you?

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I feel so unwanted.

Hinga…

 

Relaks…

 

Kalma…

 

Anyare mars? Nabaliw ka na? Pero aminin mo, masaya ka. Di man perfect yung setting kagaya nung pinipicture mo dati, perfect naman yung moment. E masaya ka talaga e. Ba’t ganun. Ayaw mo tumigil, binabalik-balikan mo pa rin. Haaaay. Ito kasi yun pinagkait (naks) sayo. Ito yung hinahanap hanap mo. Ito yung gusto mo. Kaya masaya ka. And for once in your life di ka nag-alala. Di mo inisip yung bukas o yung mga susunod na araw. You savored the moment. Ninamnam mo te e. Haggard ka. Pero ayos lang. Kasi nga masaya ka. AT natuto kang wag magexpect. Kung yun lang yun e di fine. Basta sumaya ka, kasi kasama mo siya. Kasi siya yung tumupad dun sa mga  fairytale fantasies mo (hehehe). Pero yun, basta, pagbutihan mo lang jan sa nararamdaman mo. Please wag ka magigising isang araw na mamamatay ka na lang kasi di mo na siya makausap. No strings attached naman e. Wala naman kayo pinag-usapan. Kung may mabubunga to, e di bonggang bonggang better! Kung wala, life goes on. Kaya mo yan.

 

Basta sa ngayon hinga ka muna. Ang likot ng puso mo e. At siya lang at yung moments niyo yung laman ng isip mo. May thesis ka pa huy. Yun muna ngayon. Tas bukas, kung meron pa, e di go. LANDI NA. =))))

 

#sanamagprosper

It’s sembreak. :>

I can do all these. Now I’m stress-free and ready to face my last sem in UP. Bring it on!

#causethebitchbelongstothebeach

After months of being super unlucky, super BV, and super sad, finally, I’m receiving quite a lot of good news this past few weeks. Last week, I was so afraid of my grades because I know that I did not do good this semester. I was too preoccupied with other things and other responsibilities and my acads had been the least of my priorities. But like a said, lady luck must be on my side right now.

 

I have this super early morning class (8:30-10:00) that I usually miss or be late to. My professor always teases me and scares me that I will be dropped from that subject or I will fail because of my absences and lates. But, I still got a 1.75! I was so happy because I was just hoping to pass. Really, during last sem, I was just hoping to get atleast a 3.0 in all my subjects cause of the effort (or lack thereof) that I exerted.

Same with the other subject with the same professor. He always gives this mind-blowing quizzes that I usually flunk, or even if I get a high score, someone will always be higher than me so it won’t matter cause he’ll just collect paper/s the highest scorer/s. But during the last quiz, I got to pass my quiz paper! That is one of my dreams and goals for this sem and I’m glad I have achieved it. And I also got a 1.75 for my final grade. Happiness! ❤

Another thing that got me so happy this sem was when I got a perfect score on an essay question in the exam of one of my favorite professors. He was known for scrutinizing every detail of the essay, even the grammar, and getting a perfect score in one of his essay questions is really a big deal for me because I had this thing that I want to prove something to him (mehehe). But the final grade of 2.0 did not surprise me cause I usually get this kind of grade from him. But I’m still very thankful nonetheless. 😀 ❤

Then, yesterday, I learned that I got a 1.75 grade on a subject that I’m so positive I will just tres. I took the removal exams for that subject cause I didn’t study well for the finals so I was really sure that I won’t get a grade higher than the passing. But, thankfully, I got a 1.75  I know I could’ve gotten something hiugher, but with my performance this last sem, this was really really surprising. I’m just so lucky. ❤

I’ve written earlier that I just passed my last requirement for my thesis proposal class. Again, I was just hoping to pass, and I was conditioned to get a grade of 3.0. Buuuut, because GOD is EXTREMELY GOOD, I got a call from my partner Mudir today, saying that I got a 2.0 on my thesis proposal! WTFudge right! And when I check my gmail I saw an email from my professor saying that my paper had a big improvement. That’s so heartwarming especially because it came from my very strict but kind and sweet professor. 🙂 :”> Now I’m quite sure that I will graduate on time because this is the best assurance ever.

 

Now I promise that I will really work hard next sem. Tho I know that I will not reach the cum laude standing, I still wanna work hard so I can atleast be a College Scholar even for just one sem.

And, because I was so inspired with how things turned out, I want to work hard to achieve the Best Thesis award for our batch. Jk. But really, I will strive hard to atleast be nominated. Please please please stay with me positive vibes. Inspirations flood me!

 

So that’s it. I just want to share my happiness to the world. ❤

Motivatiooooooon! 😀

Iba yung vibes ko sa taon na ito. Sobrang iba siya sa mga nakalipas na taon. Dati, sigurado, confident, at alam ko kung ano ang gagawin ko next year. Nasa school ako. Nag-aaral. One year higher. Actually, I look forward to every school year. Bagong acad year na naman, bagong mga kaibigan, bagong kaklase, bagong teacher, bagong matututunan. Oo naman, naeexcite ako sa mga bagong matututunan. Pero nayon, hindi na ko sigurado sa mangyayari next year. Clueless kumbaga. Hindi ko na alam kung nasan ako, kung anong ginagawa ko. o kung masaya ba ko sa ginagawa ko. Di ko alam kung anong ilolook forward ko. Di ko alam kung anong ikaeexcite ko. Di ko alam. Di ako sigurado. Natatakot ako. 😐 Wala akong maaninag, wala akong madama. Ano nga bang meron sa susunod na taon? Saan nga ba ako mapapadpad? Ito na yung pinakamahirap na pagsusulit sa lahat. Ito na yung susubok sa lahat ng kaalaman na nakuha ko sa loob at labas ng silid-aralan, sa prof at mga kaibigan.

 

Ito na yun e. At natatakot ako. Natatakot akong bumagsaka ako. Mas mahirap pa to sa unang Ramota exam na napagdaanan ko. Masa mahirap pa to sa 199.1 ni Ma’am Castillo. Mas nakakatakot to sa Math 1 at Math 11. At higit sa lahat, mas mahaba to kesa sa mga lecture ni *toot*.

 

Aalis na ko sa mga bagay na kinagisnan ko. Iiwan ko na yung apat na sulok ng comfort zone ko. Sasabak na ko sa mas magulo, mas maingay, at mas harsh na mundo. Nakakatakot dahil hindi ko alam kung handa na ba ako. Nakakatakot kasi hindi pwedeng magremovals dito. Nakakatakot kasi hindi pwedeng i-drop to. At wala akong prof kundi ang sarili ko. Ang hirap mag-isip araw-araw kung ano na ba talaga yung mangyayari sakin sa susunod na taon. Gagraduate ba ko? Magla-law ba ako? Magttrabaho na ba ako? O buhay pa ba ako? Hindi ko alam. Lahat ay walang kasiguraduhan. Siguro ngayon bahala na muna si Batman, lahat pa ay suntook sa buwan. Mali man pero bahala na talaga siguro. Ako naman ang in control e. Kumbaga, ako ang director, scriptwriter, at actor ng pelikulang ito.

 

Siguro kaya ako natatakot kasi wala akong tiwala sa sarili ko. Yan yung di ko natutunan sa eskwela e. Absent ata ako nung nilesson to. Siguro bago ko problemahin lahat ng ito matuto muna kong magtiwala sa sarili ko. Baka sakaling magliwanag. Baka sakaling malaman ko na yung mga sagot sa tanong ko. Baka sakaling luminaw, baka sakaling may kahinatnan. Sa ngayon thesis muna. Siguro yung yung sagot sa lahat e (sana). One step at a time ika nga. Dahan-dahan. Wag magpadalos-dalos. Malay ko ba kung this time next year mas solid na yung bagay sa hinaharap ko. Kaya sa ngayon, chill muna. Itutulog ko na lang to. Baka bukas, okay na ko.

 

-end-

Uyy. Iba iniisip. Life less serious daw kasi. Life less complicated sana pwede rin.

 

Alam mo yung ang sakit na. Yung gusto mo lang naman sumaya, pero di pwede, di dapat, kasi di para sayo. Yun bang pinapaasa ka, pinaglalaruan ka ng tadhana, na akala mo ayan na, pero hindi pala. May iba pala siya.

 

Ang daming nangyayari. Umaasa ka. Natutuwa ka kasi once upon a time laman lang yun ng pagdaday dream mo. Then poof, it became coco crunch, ay mali, naging for realzzz na pala. Ikaw, kinikilig-kilig ka, kasi ayan na, so near yet so far. Pero bigla ka na lang sasampalin ni life at sasabihin sayong, “gaga, di naman ikaw yung gusto niya, may mahal kaya siyang iba, asa ka porebs”.

 

Sakit diba. Kasi masaya ka na e. Umasa ka na e. Kala mo ok na. Pag kinekwento mo sa friends mo, parang kayo na talaga sa sobrang pag-exag mo sa mga bagay at sa pagkakilig mo. Tipong nagseselos ka pa pag nakikita mo silang magkasama. Ganda mo? Kayo na?

 

Kahapon, ang saya, kumakanta yung mga anghel. May butterflies, nagliliwanag lahat. Pero ayun nga, di kasi siya totoo. Lahat kasi di totoo. Naroromanticize mo lang, dahil nga natutuwa ka na ganun na. Pero sa totoo lang wala talaga. Di sadya yun. At di para sayo yun.

 

So okay na? Alam mo na lahat yan? Kaya tama na dapat, tigil na. Kung patatagalin mo pa, lalala lang yan. Malulungkot ka lang. Baka magpakamatay ka pa. Joooke. OA nun ha. Pero yun, payo lang kaibigan, umayos ka na. Tas try mo yung buhay na ikaw lang, walang kahit sino, walang kahit ano. Masyado ka ng dependent sa ibang tao e. Go and do things alone. Nood kang movie mag-isa, i-date mo sarili mo, punta kang Tagaytay dahil lang gusto mo. Try mo talagang mag-isa, baka mas sumaya ka pag ganun. Baka meant to be ka talagang mag-isa. Baka soulmate mo sarili mo. Baka forever alone ka na lang.

 

Pagkatapos nito, tapos na. Tama na. Ayaw mo na. Ayoko na.

 

KTHXBAI


Yellie Jelly :D


Blabbermouth. Primadonna. Irrational. Impulsive. Critical. AWESOME.